When you are grieving, alongside the overwhelming sense of missing the one you love comes the crushing awareness of all that you’ve lost. You may feel stunned at the normality of life around you, as people go about their business, totally unaware that your world has stopped. For some, there is no worse time of the year to highlight this than Christmas.

The traditions and celebrations that add so much joy and meaning to the festivities can be punctuated with painful reminders of the person who is no longer here to share in it. You may be reluctant to turn to others, either because you haven’t learned to accept or ask for help, or perhaps you’re afraid others won’t know what to do with your feelings.

For many people this is the hardest part of grieving, and a time when we miss our loved ones even more than usual; Christmas can feel like something to endure rather than enjoy.

But while you may want to hide away, getting together with family and friends might give you a chance to laugh and remember fun times. It’s important to know that having fun isn’t a sign that you don’t miss them, and it is OK to enjoy this time, if you can.